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MEN GOD BETA VERSION JOKES
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My Mistress
Rahul was laughing loudly with friends at teen patti poker game night gathering, drinking heavily at the club. He said,
"You know I am here because my wife is my MISTRESS."
Friends started looking at him with awe of a powerful husband and said "Then you should really enjoy her at home of your desires rather then be here with us misfortunates."
Rahul said, "Well she was my very dear MISS when I married and now she is STRESS for rest of my life."
Two kids are arguing over whose father is the wimpiest.
Two kids are arguing over whose father is the wimpiest.
The first one says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he slides underneath our bed."
The second kid says, "That's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mother works nightshift, he sleeps with the woman next door."
A MAN IS LIKE AN AUTOMOBILE
As it gets older, the differential starts slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of low.
The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the slightest incline. When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top.
The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning. It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose.
The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the battery needs constant recharging.
But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the primrose lane before the head gasket blows.
Gentlemen... Start your engines!
This ninety year old millionaire man married
This ninety year old millionaire man married to a twenty year pretty woman and within a few weeks she became pregnant.
The old Man was so happy, went to his regular psychiatrist and asked for an advise.
The doctor said, "Well listen to a story. A hunter goes to the jungle to hunt. In rush he picks up his umbrella in place of gun and he faces a lion. He points, takes aim at lion, and shoots. Boom, the lion dies."
Old man says, "But, that is impossible, some one else shot his gun at lion and killed him."
Doctor says, "True, that is my advise.
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